Saturday, December 30, 2006

Entry for December 30, 2006 I am changing!!

In the face of a sea of change i look at my life in a mirror and i look like a fool. O well it sure has a been one hell of a time and i am would not have done any thing different. Now i am heading in a new direction and a new path.

As i sit here on the verge of 30 with 30 million miles behind me. Wow I been to sea and the gulf I lived though the death of a lover, Of a best friend, I dealt with coming out And 10 failed relationships. Many friends and family turning there back on me and i was left in the street on Christmas eve (no not this one) . And i Have survived!!! I survived to carry on what other were unable to. To love it all and take it all in stride.

To Gary (and all the true romantics out there) love is all we got one love. when we wake up in the morning when we fall asleep at night no that no matter what happened in your lives before we met it does not matter now because for our love is the only one that I hold dear.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Entry for December 21, 2006 happy solstice

there comes a time when we look at the past and ask our selves where has it gone.

A very dear friend turned 30 today. Wow i new him when he was 21. 9 years of of pain and love and life lived. getting up and going to a peace of shit job having a lover that lied and having bled for the right to say he was gay. the road is a long one and more then a few times friends around (me included) thought we would never see this day. No longer the student now the teacher u look back on the past and see your transgressions (as art likes to say).

In an information age where ever things moves at blazing speed i find it very hard to stop and smell the roses!! Time to be alone is not possable with cell phones and gps tracking. with made to order camera that fit on your finger tip. when the government see to it more important to spy on gay citizens then tracking ones that can kill there kids. And lay wait to a world of broken dreams.

It is said u can not buy happiness. No i suppose not but making good money does make me happy, and the ones are happy around me happy too. The reason we are not happy because we are forced to make scarifies between a house and car, there by requiring sycophantic drugs giving us a faults sens of drug induced happiness.

Change is good. but when to much change happens it can destroy ones house of cards. Been more then a year that i been in this neither world and yet i am just realizing how much the words do to me "eye of the storm", "hurricane forcast". When the wind picks up remembering the fear of getting blown away. let my car go just could not see it and not thinking of the day that my house of cards fell and my life started over.

He snores, he is a game show nut, he loves so deep, He is complete selfless and he has a twinkle that will lite up the entire room. His smile is infectious. His laugh comes from deep with in beneath the pain of a loneliness. he is mine, he is his own again. But god what a high price i have paid and god how much he lost out on. Life begins and love is enduring during the counting days towards the merging of 2 lives.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Entry for August 19, 2006 Regret

There are times in life u wish your could take back an action,take back words that hurt the ones u love. Today i am left with much regret, Alot of pain i have besotwed on some one i love very much, for that i am truely sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I do not know what the future will hold and I can not pretict if this is a date that will haunt me for 20, 30 40 , 50 years. I am how ever forever going to change my actions and I am going to begin speakin the truth and no more lies, for i do not want any more regret in this life.

It is eating at me something that is going to the core of a being. It is a feeling i know very little of. It as if i want to scream untill i go deaf, i go horse and I go to my demize.

I am sorry for theAnger that is still welling up in side,

for the knife u surely must feel i stuck in your side.

I am very apologetic of the respect i have just lost and forthe pain that will surely remain.

For you are my one true best friend and from that i can never hid

I hope that one day (even if it is 40 years from now) u can accept my apologies.

And we can move forward Together.................................

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Entry for August 17, 2006 facts on gay youth in america

this is a repost of new data just relased from landa legal

Original artical at http://www.lambdalegal.org/cgi-bin/iowa/news/resources.html?record=1662

Maybe you didn't realize this, but GAY & LESBIAN YOUTH ARE NOT A SMALL GROUP. Estimates suggest 2.7 million Americans between the ages of 14 and 27 define themselves as "something other than straight." (source: U.S. Census, Osmosis MediaLab, YGA Survey)

LGBTQ Youth Risk Data

Fostering Transitions: CWLA/Lambda Legal Joint Initiative to Support Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth and Adults Involved with the Child Welfare System


To download this page as a PDF, click here.

25-40% of youth who become homeless each year are LGBT.
(Kruks G, Journal of Adolescent Health.)

50% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.
(Mallon, G, We Don’t Exactly Get the Welcome Wagon: The Experiences of Gay and Lesbian Adolescents in the Child Welfare Systems.)

26% of gay youth are forced to leave home because of conflicts with family members over sexual orientation.
(Rhode Island Task Force on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth.)

23% of GLB youth have been threatened with a weapon at school. 52% feel sad and hopeless. 48% have seriously considered suicide. 29% have attempted suicide. GLB youth are two-to-three times more likely to get pregnant or get someone pregnant than heterosexual youth.
(U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

30% of all completed adolescent suicides in the U.S. are by LGBT youth.
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

28% of LGBT youth drop out of school because of verbal or physical harassment by other students.
(Savin-Williams, RC, Journal of Consulting Clinical Psychology.

78% of youth report that young people who are gay or thought to be gay are teased or bullied in their schools and communities. 93% hear other youth at school or in their neighborhood use words like "fag," "homo," "dyke," "queer," or "gay" at least once in a while, with 51% hearing them every day.
(National Mental Health Association.)

50% of gay males report negative reactions from their parents when they disclosed their sexual orientation and 26% were forced to leave home as a result of disclosing their sexual orientation to their parents.
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

33% of gay men and 34% of lesbians report suffering physical violence from family members as a result of their sexual orientation.
(Philadelphia Lesbian and Gay Task Force.)

50% of transgendered youth trade sex for money or a place to live.
(Massachusetts Department of Public Health.)

30% of young, black gay men in America are infected with HIV disease.
(U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

LGBT youth are twice as likely as heterosexual youth to abuse alcohol, and eight times as likely to use cocaine/crack.
(Garofalo, R, MD, et al, The American Association of Pediatrics.)

LGBT homeless youth are physically or sexually victimized on average by seven more people than heterosexual homeless youth; leave home an average of 12 times compared to seven times for heterosexual homeless youth; had nearly twice as many sexual partners in their lives than did heterosexual homeless youth; and used 11 of 12 substances more frequently during the previous six months.
(University of Washington.)

We still have a ways to go to find complete acceptance with numbers like these

The following have adopted policies against discrimination based on sexual orientation:


The American Psychiatric Association (APA)
The American Psychological Association (APA)
The National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
The American Medical Association (AMA)
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
The American Counseling Association (ACA)
The American School Health Association (ASHA)
The Child Welfare League of America (CWLA)

The following have issued statements condemning attempts by child welfare and mental health professionals to alter a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity through so called reparative or conversion therapies:


The American Psychiatric Association (APA)
The American Psychological Association (APA)
The National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
The American Counseling Association (ACA)

For more information about the CWLA/Lambda Legal LGBTQ Joint Initiative, please contact:


Rob Woronoff, MS
LGBTQ Program Manager, CWLA
202-662-4292
rworonoff@cwla.org


Rudy Estrada
Foster Care Attorney, Lambda Legal
312-663-4413
restrada@lambdalegal.org

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Entry for August 13, 2006 what is it about blogging

ok check this out ppl i am sharin a computer that means that when i think of some thing to say it is ither 3 am and i am shit faced or i am 2nd inline to use the computer.

me and will split on the weekend before 4th of july on the 3rd to be spasific. I then started activly lookin to move to Winston Salm, NC with james

Ok james why on earthand in the havenly stars would u tell some one u love them, want to move back together and start a new life with that person, the like be gone from the faceof the planet for 11 fuckin days. that is not how i treat my friends and never my lovers. It is not c razy to call some one and say "hey how u doing ?? I am alive and well and any other ppl reading this that have done the same. if u have not called or e-mailed srcrew u all, friendship takes a few mins a. Day deal with that and the rewards are endless and can not be bought (gary orr)"

so now that being said what elsa is going on. My god have the spirts been comin and coming through. i feel like john edwards on crystal meth!!!

I have been dating the most coolest and down to earth guy i have ever met some one that really so much like me. I am completely done dating some one that is different, thanx oprah for that advice.LOL and he is open very to the possablity of moving to the west coast. Veagas baby, Vegas!!!

I want a good job that is family friendly and that has a place for my crazy ass LOL!!!

So is any one going to get the game of the year madden 2007!!!!!! for ps2??

peace out

sky w.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Entry for June 28, 2006 what is trust

Hey all,

For thoughts of you who know me no that trust is a huge issue for me. I do not trust easily, there are maybe 3 ppl I trust in my life.

For the most part I take whatever any one says "with a grain of salt". Not really believing what they are saying is the WHOLE TRUTH.

A situation complicated by my willingness to fall for less then reputable ppl, and the willingness of thoughts ppl to cheat, lie and steal from me, to get what they want.

The trust I long for is the trust I share with Art.The feeling of whatever,whenever, and however he can bethere for me he will do his damndest to and likewise me for him.Now Iknow thathas not happened over night.It maybehappened with in a few months.

Which leads me to my next point coming up on a 5 months of friendship and I know that I can basically know that if u say u are going to do something means u are not, If u say something it means it maybe 70% true, well then it is time for you to get the hell out of my life. Because with friends like that I need no enemies’.

And in conclusion follow through is what builds and what essentially is trust...

No follow through= no trust.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Entry for June 26, 2006 boredem setting in

ok so i am sitting here on a monday night at like 11 pm and i am feeling a RANGE of emotions like

  • let down (cuz the guy i am/was seeing Will cheated on me with his bestfriend and thought it was no big deal)

  • sad that in nearly 28 years of life i have but 2 very close friends

  • lonely Cuz for 3 months now i wanted to see james and he still has not got settled in nc

  • pain in my knees and back cuz of the mountains and mountains of rain.

  • piss off that my work is like hott and cold either working 60 hours or they do not call me to work for a week!!

  • pissed off cuz i need want and have to have my drivers licence. Why the fuck is the florida DMV so fuckin stupid.

  • And finallyemotional starved for a mans touchbut nooooooo will (see above) is "sick" and does not feel like comein over

so that is how i feel...........

Peace out,

sky w.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Entry for June 24, 2006

new pictures added to my website both baltimore and capital pride are now on in the photo album section http://www.skykid2.com/photo-albums.htmlAlso plenty of pictures of other shit is there 2.!!!
peace out,
sky w.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Entry for June 13, 2006 my tails of pride

hey ppl,

i freekin loved capital pride 2006 u can see all the pics i took at my website click here.

I got to meet derek from derek and roamaine on sirius and I got to meet Thelma houston!!

I am going to be in bmore for pride this weekend here is website baltimore pride 2006

A huge thanx to my b/f will for going with me to dc and providing me with food money and transportation!!

peace out,

sky w.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Entry for June 10, 2006 Happy pride!!!

well it is pride time. Tomorrow I am going to dc pride with will and art and shawn and joe and hopping to meet some one new there an online friend chi. i love this time of the year i love pride. Ilove the festival with all the great head lineacts and the in your face gayness of it all.

Unfortunatly we are not going to tonights parade but it does not start till 6:30pm and it sucked last time it was at night cuz it was to dark to see the whole thing by the time it was over i was tired of standing in the same place for 4 hours. and did not really feel like going to the club and besides that it was like like 1o ish at night. I am so lookin fwd to seeing my fav sirius radio personalities derek and romain. I f*ing love them!!

This year we are bringing a cast of new ppl to pride they have never been before. will is 19 and i was just before my 19th bday when i went to my first in boston... joe is still comin out as is shawn!!

Hey how is going to be at bmore pride next weekend would love to see more ppl there this year then in 2004 when i think there was like 5 ppl there infront of hippo!!

well i will post in the week to tell u all how it went!!

peace out

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Entry for June 03, 2006

What does friend ship mean to u??

Well in my life I have but a few real true friends.......

friendship means to me waking up in the morning and say thank god I am luck to have some one that cares about my health, my life, my pain, I have some one to care for, some one I can give advice to some one to love and some one that in 5 years u can say remember when and they go yeah man yeah.

Experience is some thing that I have a lot of I have lived in 14 states and had what feels like a million jobs. And I have had to many times kissed toads to hope that they might them princes or princesses (fem guys)

In my experiences I have learned many things that I like and a lot of things I have dislike about my self. I am always in constant change don't blame me for that. I raised my self form 14 yo. With an alcoholic mother and a non execitant father figure. I am just now approaching a milestone of 30 that I am content living in my shell. I am a man that is my best friend and my will. My angel!!

Sometimes I take ppl at there word that is not the way it should be. We should all investigate and explore what some one is saying instead.

When I was 25 I was a quart of a man and now looking toward 30 I am still not quiet half a man I want to be. I have become more emotional but I still lack compassion that is a product of my own environment.

Compassion is friendship

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Entry for July 01, 2006 happy 4th to all


well,

art shaved his head seee!! wow bald is beautiful hehehe, I need to get a few things off my cheast and sents this is my soap box i AM going to.

Yesterday at 5pm I got my drivers license back. I can now drive legaly again. (not that i have not drivin just about any thing on wheels in the last 9 months with out it)

Ok so now i need to get a car or my car back on the road and change my license by my birthday when it expires!!! why the fuck is it that it always seems to come back togther at the last possable second.

And i guessmeans I will be sitting here in Md for my birthday instead of being where i want to be which in Winston-Salem, North Carlolina.

Another Thing.....Why does Will always have to make me feel like a shit when he brakes a date with me or is a no show!!I easyly fall for guys that take control in a Passive/agrassive way!!

Peace out,

Sky w.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Entry for May 20, 2006

When we are alone in my room u show love, compation, respect, and trust.

When did u First relize u where gay?? Was it an inosent crush in junour high school the blond bomb shell with the "big mucles".Do u remember how good it felt when u saw his face, When he said hello to u, when he brushed past you in a crowded hall way.

Remember how innocentit felt, how good. Then why now when we make love to u feel guilty why do u feeldirty.Is it becuse inyourculture the term "man up, boy" hasbeen througn like a A-bomb at you . Is it becuz everone talks bad about gays in your house.

I will be there to hold your hand I will be there to walk this tight rope with you.

To the ppl reading this messagewe all must cometo terms withour sexuality and tell some one that is st8.Studies show that a str8 person that now a gay person, at work, at church or ineven a there family will be lest likely to discrimate And more likey to support "human rights for gays". Comming out for me happend in 1993 long before there was much of a support system i do not remeber ever hearing of PFLAG or GSA. It is never to old or to young to come to terms with your sexuality and be proud of what the high power has made you.

Untill next time america........

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Entry for April 04, 2006

I just got done watching Elphant. A fition based on Columbine High School "massacre". the feelings that led to Columbine have never been address by the main streamUS press.

There was 10,000 warning signs. these kids were picked on all the time, ever day going to school with a larger chip on there shoulder, with no mouth peice, no out let for these emotions.

I have been abused by my class mates.I am a surviver of bulling from a very young age. It has been years sents i have been in school. comming up on 10 years next year. The pain and the torment still survive with in me. the wanting some to not just brush it off as "kids will be kids" the mentality of theUS population. It is in no right justified for some one to go in to the school and shoot it up, but we must also never forget why they did it, What that feeling is like. Having 900 classmates and being so alone.

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were not only muders they were also vitims of a system that has gay youthdoes not have enough GSA's and that has accepted bullying as "part of growing up?" When will we learn any thing from this it has been nearly 7 years sents and only thing that hs changed is security in school now u are a caged animal. There is current 12 states will legisation that would limit or outright ban Gay-Straight Alliance . That is uneceptable.

If i understand what the legilaters are saying is that u are not gay untill u are 18 And that gay youth can some how change by not talking about sexual orintaion or is it they can not vote so there opinions are not valid.

As a 27 yo out gay male I stand up to though right wing crazy ppl. I call my congress man/woman and i e-mail him/her weekly if not daily on this issue, We as a county must not forget that the scars that are made during school will last for a life time.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Entry for 2/28/06 You never now who you have met

Hello all,

8 years ago in the fall of 1998, I met a man by the name of mad dog, He was a street wise thug from NYC, We became fast friends, and I became his roomate as well as a good friend soon after.He seem to know everone in the south florida area. he got me in to all the clubs ( i was still under 21 at the time). He was soft spoken and very comfortable with him self. he was half portician, half cuban. And gay.

Mad dog had crazy tatoos all over his body, one tat Stood out it to mewas smiley face on his right peckwith the words Elizabeth below it. I had asked him what was the Significancesof it.He said to me "o that is my ex husbans name".

I was completely confussed and was like "What??" hethen explained his lover had decided to go from m to f. (for thoughs of you that do notknow whatthat meansshe was transitioning from manto woman through hormans and evetually surgery.) And that elizabeth was to be comming down for a vist in a few weeks.

A few weeks later I am standing in an airport terminal next to mad dog. he is holding flowers in his hand. And out walks the most butiful woman i have ever seen. she had corse hair tied back and her face was smooth,color of coffee, and she had a very broad chin. I nearly passed out when she and mad dog ran toword each other in the terminal. How could this be I had always seen tranie (a drogatory comment to trans ppl) in the bars look horriable with a 5 o'clock shadow.

she was just stunning. On the car ride from the airport back to the house I was completly charmed and inthrald with her personality and presents. I asked ever question imagineble. Sh answed ever question, with a direct, straight fwd answer.

For a few nights we sat up talking while mad dog was at work. I really begane to see that she was so unique.

She explain to me that she was still able to preform as a man. She was very early in here transition, Her breast where not really showing yet. She told me about her real pation which was the ballroom seen in NYC. http://www.infinitipower.com/ballerina/

She left i thought wow she is really going to be something like a star. Well that is exactly what she became She is has become one of the most seasoned performers in the ballroom sceen.

She is now the mother of the house of latex. You go girl!!

Friday, February 24, 2006

Entry for February 24, 2006

As i am looking at my life i see it through a very small window under the stairs, I watch as pain turns in to triumph that turns to tragedy in an instant. MY heart often worn on my sleeve as a badge of honor sits around my neck next to my freedom rings. What i am looking for and what i need is not that hard to follow not that hard to understand

it is not buried under 10,000 layers of shit and yes there has been pain but i have learned that with out pain there is no love (think child birth). When i leave i want to leave behind more then just a name, but a space to be filled by a new born queen, I want to be remember for hope, passion, saying what ever the fuck u want to say , Iwill be remember for but a few things that i am not sure of yet.

I am political because i am passionate, I am loving cuz i am a lover. I am pain for what its worth.

I see daily struggle and so many that have grown so much around me in the past week that i means that soon i will become yet another queen at the bar not the boy toy not yet the troll,

I have found passion is not dead and chivalry as once said "aint for gays honey" Pain is not my only rain at the moment is raining men. shaheed as reinvigorated this tired old queen in to a butter cup of LATE 20 SOMETHING.

Mr. Boston as made a return and so has sleeping till 3.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


On wensday of next week febuary 1st mikey will be here next to me for a week,

This is not any normal ordinary relationship, we have went years with out speaking and we have went years where we never missed a day with out talking...... (see perviouse blog on how we orginaly met)

When did it get to be 8 years. How is that possable??Many Many ppl have come and gone been a shootingstar with a white hot heat that burned me in the end yet he is still standing therein the back round,how does life passso quickly with out you I might have lost the my mind and self a few times, thanx mikey.

When did i relized he still loved me in that way, Last summer when he said thankyou for u leting me be me.... Is it possable that I had over looked u all thistime. I am sorry u moved fwd and so did i but I guess u where always were looking to the side to see me there also.

Thanx.......

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Entry for January 19, 2006 Sexual Ambiguity

Ok I am sick and tired of guys that do not declare when asked "what team they play for". Sexual orintation is not like changing your sox or like what color underware u have on.

It is your identy. by not delcaring it or by leaving it up in the air is doing a great disservice to the gay brothers and sister that have came before us, that have died for thequeer cival rights, the ones that are stilldieing in places likeIran.We as gaymen and woman must set an example to thoughs gay kids that need postive role models.

If u are alufe then your boss he/she can still say "I do not know any gay ppl" then your congress man can say"i do nto have gay constituans". your friend can make gay jokes. By not bringing your sexuality in to the open u are implying that u are doing something wrong.

We can not ask for marriage or nondisctimation laws that keep you from losing your job, your apt, or your health care untill we stand up and say "I am gay" or " i am bisexual"

So the next time time some one asks u what team do u play for. Tell them "I play for the homo team honey" Or the next time some one ask you do u have a girl friend, tell them "I have not found the right guy yet" or to women when some one says you need to finda man tell them "as long as she has nice tits and ass"

Stand up This is 2006 not 1986 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE LOVE

Monday, January 16, 2006

Entry for January 16, 2006 A FEW THOUGHTS

Every day I start with a reason to call you to say hello, to say I miss you, that I am sorry, that I need you and ever night I have made at least 3 excuses why I did not. What is wrong with me for not calling and telling you are my one true love? We have known each other for 9 years now.

I have known you the longest of any of my friends or ex's There was years that went by we did not miss a day with out speaking. Now it has been what 5 months, no more like 6 months. I miss youso muchit hurts in side yet inevitable I can not thing of a damn thing to say when I call so I let you ramble for an hour.Is that why you very really call me cuz u think I have nothing to say any more, have we gotten to the point in the friendship that we have nothing left to say. Is it that u do not trust meenough to shear yourdeepest darkest desires. How is it that 5 years I put your ring on your finger, and now I do not even get a call fromyou on our otherholiday x-mass?

My friends say fuck it he does not want to be your friend he isin his own world now. Well I want to be part of your world even just fora min, I was happiest living on nothing in w-s.Or prov at pride when u took yourshirt with your pink hair and ever one was looking at us in front of the world.

The chances ofmebeing your loverare like a million to none. I do not disserve. What I do disserve is closer

I miss you..............

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Entry for January 11, 2006 brokeback mountain has changed my life

Tonight I saw it, I went about it in the most non trutional way i have ever gone to the movies. Looking at nooutlines and no plot line, I did not read the book or download the movie first. I had a complete open mind.

First let me say the visual aspects of it are unbeleiveable, the mountains, the trees the land scape of what i have been told is breath taking montana. I drove through there twice. 1st time there was way to much snow ( a blizard) 2nd time it was mostly night time.

Now on to the movie If u want to know who i am or what i stand for or what i belive in everday of my life u need to see this movie. If u belive in love, hope joy, lose and saddness are a natual part of life u need to see this movie. If u are gay, bi, or god forbid breeder u need to see this movie. Companionship can be learned and love is eternal.The love we share nowwill out live us.

thanx for stopping by

laterz

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Entry for January 10, 2006 sleeping alone again

You know what i miss most about being in a realtionship besides the companenship??? is sleeping in bed with someone, feeling there warm body next to mind, how there body leave an impresion on the bed, How u can listen to their breath indead of night,How if u wake in the night with a bad dream "as i offten do" haveing them to be there to cuddle put me back in to a loving setting and put the coversback over me. I am not a cuddler but I guess i have always sleeped better when there is someone in my bed to cuddle with if i wanted to.

I never remember a time when that matter something to me untill now. guess i am growing older!!

Friday, January 6, 2006

Entry for January 09, 2006 an other month


HELLO ALL,

What if one day u woke up and ever thing u believed about life and everything in it had changed..... Well that did not happen to me today this post is about that day.

I have learned many things scents my last blog, friends are bothforever and forever changing,

That after 7 years friends can rekindle something that both had forgotten, or maybe did not want to remember the raw emotion.

Ok with mikey's permission I post this story.....

On a nice warm December night in west palm beach in 1998. I was invited to a get together a few friends where throwing. I had just moved to the west palm area 3 months really and new very few ppl. I was depressed and really looking for a man. The type of man that takes u off your feet, someone with a warm soul and a warm ass too LOL.Always up for any adventure I said torob lets go!!!

We arrived just after dark and this "party" turnedout to be just agay couple that invited us (Jeremy and we don't remember the b/f's name) me and my friend rob(we were sort of dating in his mind however,he wasHIV Positiveand there for all I wanted was to be friends, he might have been in the mob too but that is another story for another day.) ..... I said to Jeremy the host of the party "where the ppl man and they are like so and so called said he is not coming and so on and so on and blahhh....and I was like o great party man where is the boos. "

So we drank for like an hour or 2..... At this point there is a weird noise out side the Jeremy's b/f goes to check it out. I am just in my beer thinking this is a terrible "party". ..... The his b/f comes in says o it is their friend "moped mike". I did not even bother to look up just was like yeah..... I am looking down and I see a hand in front of me with my eyes I follow that arm up to an arm and then boooooooooooooooooooooooooooom I saw his eyes....

My whole perception of time slowed to a crawl me thinking "omfg look at his eyes" I was like shocked my lighting, he made me qwiver with ever inch my body AND that is saying a lot cuzall the time I am just like "o look new ppl".

I am not sure of my first word to him...... all I know was here is this tanned 6' 145 blonde hair blue eyed bomb shell like out of a Euro porn standing in front of me. It took my breath away like when u see a guys head get cut off in a slasher film. He was wherein a cowboy hat, cowboy boots flannel shirt and smelled awesome (gravity cologne). He was wearing sexy coke bottle glasses. He looked so sexy I new I Had to get with him, to be with him, to be in him, I felt like an animal inside.

I was cool about it for the most part I shook his hand I sat back on the couch. And plotted my next move,after drinking a while Jeremy and is b/f began to fight. Over some damn thing. It actual offered the perfect opportunity for me to say to mike and (supposed b/f) rob to go back to the place rob and I were living to get away from the drama.

Some how another guy came with us he was mid to late 50's his name was jayhe worked at circle k therefor everyone called him "circle j". So anyway the 4 of us pile in to rob’s crapy car and drive 20 mins toour place.

We get there and we are all listing to music and chilling and rob says "we need more beer" (you can buy beer at any circle k at 3 am in west palm). To my self I am like yessssss he is my opportunity to get to know mike better.... I tell him great I need to stay behind cuz I feel sick, he just looked at mike and mike said o I think I am going to stay to make sure he is going to be ok. So there we are circle j me and mike..... We have 10 to 15 mins tops and I DO NOT WANT CIRCLE K AT ALL!! So I just forget as ifj is in the room, I say to mike u are really hot he blushes, I know I am in then!!!

Did I mention I am really wasted at this point? So I say to mike "what are u packing" I start rubbing his package and he does what I find to be the fucking hottes thing he pulls the head out over his jeans. So with out ever thinking I am going to get a second chance I just go down on what I can get ....... it was so sweet so hot and he was so cute..... Why wouldn't I???

It was maybe a min in to it and freekin hear the door close I freak out bold across the room and just that time rob walks in with the beer not knowing anything has happened....LOL (AND for the record I don't think he ever did)

So robs come back We stay up talking and drinking till late, late I retire to the bedroom I fall asleep Around 5 am sun isjust risingand mikey is passed out on the couch ...... We all wake about 2 pm. Mikey has to be at work at 3 so rob rushes me out to get his moped that is still at Jeremy's house.......... As he leaves he gives me a huge hugg and a kiss on the cheak and he says "I will see you soon" I sware I melted in a pool on the floor.....

I talked to him ever chance i could I had to hide it from rob but that was not that hard he was not the sharpest bulb on the tree

3 weeks to the day. On new years day 1999 I went to a pay phone at the end of the block called mikey and said "mikey......I want to be with you"

his response was "so do I"

We talked about how hard the last 3 weeks been on each other and how much the other wanted to say that Then he asked his mom to come pick me up.

I new that if i went back to get anything it was going to be bad ass fight and I have a hott temper and was still on probation at the time. so instead i said "fuck it is all matarial possestions". left ever thing at robs and got in to the car with mikey and his mom and drove off.............

ok so that is my mikey story part 1, I Was well aware this was the begining of some thing special but I never imagined that after this long we would still have the same spark ever time are eyes meet...........

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