Entry for December 30, 2006 I am changing!!

In the face of a sea of change i look at my life in a mirror and i look like a fool. O well it sure has a been one hell of a time and i am would not have done any thing different. Now i am heading in a new direction and a new path.

As i sit here on the verge of 30 with 30 million miles behind me. Wow I been to sea and the gulf I lived though the death of a lover, Of a best friend, I dealt with coming out And 10 failed relationships. Many friends and family turning there back on me and i was left in the street on Christmas eve (no not this one) . And i Have survived!!! I survived to carry on what other were unable to. To love it all and take it all in stride.

To Gary (and all the true romantics out there) love is all we got one love. when we wake up in the morning when we fall asleep at night no that no matter what happened in your lives before we met it does not matter now because for our love is the only one that I hold dear.

Entry for December 21, 2006 happy solstice

there comes a time when we look at the past and ask our selves where has it gone.

A very dear friend turned 30 today. Wow i new him when he was 21. 9 years of of pain and love and life lived. getting up and going to a peace of shit job having a lover that lied and having bled for the right to say he was gay. the road is a long one and more then a few times friends around (me included) thought we would never see this day. No longer the student now the teacher u look back on the past and see your transgressions (as art likes to say).

In an information age where ever things moves at blazing speed i find it very hard to stop and smell the roses!! Time to be alone is not possable with cell phones and gps tracking. with made to order camera that fit on your finger tip. when the government see to it more important to spy on gay citizens then tracking ones that can kill there kids. And lay wait to a world of broken dreams.

It is said u can not buy happiness. No i suppose not but making good money does make me happy, and the ones are happy around me happy too. The reason we are not happy because we are forced to make scarifies between a house and car, there by requiring sycophantic drugs giving us a faults sens of drug induced happiness.

Change is good. but when to much change happens it can destroy ones house of cards. Been more then a year that i been in this neither world and yet i am just realizing how much the words do to me "eye of the storm", "hurricane forcast". When the wind picks up remembering the fear of getting blown away. let my car go just could not see it and not thinking of the day that my house of cards fell and my life started over.

He snores, he is a game show nut, he loves so deep, He is complete selfless and he has a twinkle that will lite up the entire room. His smile is infectious. His laugh comes from deep with in beneath the pain of a loneliness. he is mine, he is his own again. But god what a high price i have paid and god how much he lost out on. Life begins and love is enduring during the counting days towards the merging of 2 lives.

Entry for August 19, 2006 Regret

There are times in life u wish your could take back an action,take back words that hurt the ones u love. Today i am left with much regret, Alot of pain i have besotwed on some one i love very much, for that i am truely sorry from the bottom of my heart.

I do not know what the future will hold and I can not pretict if this is a date that will haunt me for 20, 30 40 , 50 years. I am how ever forever going to change my actions and I am going to begin speakin the truth and no more lies, for i do not want any more regret in this life.

It is eating at me something that is going to the core of a being. It is a feeling i know very little of. It as if i want to scream untill i go deaf, i go horse and I go to my demize.

I am sorry for theAnger that is still welling up in side,

for the knife u surely must feel i stuck in your side.

I am very apologetic of the respect i have just lost and forthe pain that will surely remain.

For you are my one true best friend and from that i can never hid

I hope that one day (even if it is 40 years from now) u can accept my apologies.

And we can move forward Together.................................

Entry for August 17, 2006 facts on gay youth in america

this is a repost of new data just relased from landa legal

Original artical at http://www.lambdalegal.org/cgi-bin/iowa/news/resources.html?record=1662

Maybe you didn't realize this, but GAY & LESBIAN YOUTH ARE NOT A SMALL GROUP. Estimates suggest 2.7 million Americans between the ages of 14 and 27 define themselves as "something other than straight." (source: U.S. Census, Osmosis MediaLab, YGA Survey)

LGBTQ Youth Risk Data

Fostering Transitions: CWLA/Lambda Legal Joint Initiative to Support Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (LGBTQ) Youth and Adults Involved with the Child Welfare System

To download this page as a PDF, click here.

25-40% of youth who become homeless each year are LGBT.
(Kruks G, Journal of Adolescent Health.)

50% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.
(Mallon, G, We Don’t Exactly Get the Welcome Wagon: The Experiences of Gay and Lesbian Adolescents in the Child Welfare Systems.)

26% of gay youth are forced to leave home because of conflicts with family members over sexual orientation.
(Rhode Island Task Force on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth.)

23% of GLB youth have been threatened with a weapon at school. 52% feel sad and hopeless. 48% have seriously considered suicide. 29% have attempted suicide. GLB youth are two-to-three times more likely to get pregnant or get someone pregnant than heterosexual youth.
(U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

30% of all completed adolescent suicides in the U.S. are by LGBT youth.
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

28% of LGBT youth drop out of school because of verbal or physical harassment by other students.
(Savin-Williams, RC, Journal of Consulting Clinical Psychology.

78% of youth report that young people who are gay or thought to be gay are teased or bullied in their schools and communities. 93% hear other youth at school or in their neighborhood use words like "fag," "homo," "dyke," "queer," or "gay" at least once in a while, with 51% hearing them every day.
(National Mental Health Association.)

50% of gay males report negative reactions from their parents when they disclosed their sexual orientation and 26% were forced to leave home as a result of disclosing their sexual orientation to their parents.
(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

33% of gay men and 34% of lesbians report suffering physical violence from family members as a result of their sexual orientation.
(Philadelphia Lesbian and Gay Task Force.)

50% of transgendered youth trade sex for money or a place to live.
(Massachusetts Department of Public Health.)

30% of young, black gay men in America are infected with HIV disease.
(U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

LGBT youth are twice as likely as heterosexual youth to abuse alcohol, and eight times as likely to use cocaine/crack.
(Garofalo, R, MD, et al, The American Association of Pediatrics.)

LGBT homeless youth are physically or sexually victimized on average by seven more people than heterosexual homeless youth; leave home an average of 12 times compared to seven times for heterosexual homeless youth; had nearly twice as many sexual partners in their lives than did heterosexual homeless youth; and used 11 of 12 substances more frequently during the previous six months.
(University of Washington.)

We still have a ways to go to find complete acceptance with numbers like these

The following have adopted policies against discrimination based on sexual orientation:

The American Psychiatric Association (APA)
The American Psychological Association (APA)
The National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
The American Medical Association (AMA)
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
The American Counseling Association (ACA)
The American School Health Association (ASHA)
The Child Welfare League of America (CWLA)

The following have issued statements condemning attempts by child welfare and mental health professionals to alter a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity through so called reparative or conversion therapies:

The American Psychiatric Association (APA)
The American Psychological Association (APA)
The National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
The American Counseling Association (ACA)

For more information about the CWLA/Lambda Legal LGBTQ Joint Initiative, please contact:

Rob Woronoff, MS
LGBTQ Program Manager, CWLA
202-662-4292
rworonoff@cwla.org

Rudy Estrada
Foster Care Attorney, Lambda Legal
312-663-4413
restrada@lambdalegal.org

Entry for August 13, 2006 what is it about blogging

ok check this out ppl i am sharin a computer that means that when i think of some thing to say it is ither 3 am and i am shit faced or i am 2nd inline to use the computer.

me and will split on the weekend before 4th of july on the 3rd to be spasific. I then started activly lookin to move to Winston Salm, NC with james

Ok james why on earthand in the havenly stars would u tell some one u love them, want to move back together and start a new life with that person, the like be gone from the faceof the planet for 11 fuckin days. that is not how i treat my friends and never my lovers. It is not c razy to call some one and say "hey how u doing ?? I am alive and well and any other ppl reading this that have done the same. if u have not called or e-mailed srcrew u all, friendship takes a few mins a. Day deal with that and the rewards are endless and can not be bought (gary orr)"

so now that being said what elsa is going on. My god have the spirts been comin and coming through. i feel like john edwards on crystal meth!!!

I have been dating the most coolest and down to earth guy i have ever met some one that really so much like me. I am completely done dating some one that is different, thanx oprah for that advice.LOL and he is open very to the possablity of moving to the west coast. Veagas baby, Vegas!!!

I want a good job that is family friendly and that has a place for my crazy ass LOL!!!

So is any one going to get the game of the year madden 2007!!!!!! for ps2??

peace out

sky w.

Entry for June 28, 2006 what is trust

Hey all,

For thoughts of you who know me no that trust is a huge issue for me. I do not trust easily, there are maybe 3 ppl I trust in my life.

For the most part I take whatever any one says "with a grain of salt". Not really believing what they are saying is the WHOLE TRUTH.

A situation complicated by my willingness to fall for less then reputable ppl, and the willingness of thoughts ppl to cheat, lie and steal from me, to get what they want.

The trust I long for is the trust I share with Art.The feeling of whatever,whenever, and however he can bethere for me he will do his damndest to and likewise me for him.Now Iknow thathas not happened over night.It maybehappened with in a few months.

Which leads me to my next point coming up on a 5 months of friendship and I know that I can basically know that if u say u are going to do something means u are not, If u say something it means it maybe 70% true, well then it is time for you to get the hell out of my life. Because with friends like that I need no enemies’.

And in conclusion follow through is what builds and what essentially is trust...

No follow through= no trust.

Entry for June 26, 2006 boredem setting in

ok so i am sitting here on a monday night at like 11 pm and i am feeling a RANGE of emotions like

• let down (cuz the guy i am/was seeing Will cheated on me with his bestfriend and thought it was no big deal)

• sad that in nearly 28 years of life i have but 2 very close friends

• lonely Cuz for 3 months now i wanted to see james and he still has not got settled in nc

• pain in my knees and back cuz of the mountains and mountains of rain.

• piss off that my work is like hott and cold either working 60 hours or they do not call me to work for a week!!

• pissed off cuz i need want and have to have my drivers licence. Why the fuck is the florida DMV so fuckin stupid.

• And finallyemotional starved for a mans touchbut nooooooo will (see above) is "sick" and does not feel like comein over

so that is how i feel...........

Peace out,

sky w.

Entry for June 24, 2006

new pictures added to my website both baltimore and capital pride are now on in the photo album section http://www.skykid2.com/photo-albums.htmlAlso plenty of pictures of other shit is there 2.!!!
peace out,
sky w.

Entry for June 13, 2006 my tails of pride

hey ppl,

i freekin loved capital pride 2006 u can see all the pics i took at my website click here.

I got to meet derek from derek and roamaine on sirius and I got to meet Thelma houston!!

I am going to be in bmore for pride this weekend here is website baltimore pride 2006

A huge thanx to my b/f will for going with me to dc and providing me with food money and transportation!!

peace out,

sky w.

Entry for June 10, 2006 Happy pride!!!

well it is pride time. Tomorrow I am going to dc pride with will and art and shawn and joe and hopping to meet some one new there an online friend chi. i love this time of the year i love pride. Ilove the festival with all the great head lineacts and the in your face gayness of it all.

Unfortunatly we are not going to tonights parade but it does not start till 6:30pm and it sucked last time it was at night cuz it was to dark to see the whole thing by the time it was over i was tired of standing in the same place for 4 hours. and did not really feel like going to the club and besides that it was like like 1o ish at night. I am so lookin fwd to seeing my fav sirius radio personalities derek and romain. I f*ing love them!!

This year we are bringing a cast of new ppl to pride they have never been before. will is 19 and i was just before my 19th bday when i went to my first in boston... joe is still comin out as is shawn!!

Hey how is going to be at bmore pride next weekend would love to see more ppl there this year then in 2004 when i think there was like 5 ppl there infront of hippo!!

well i will post in the week to tell u all how it went!!

peace out