Well first lets start by saying a month in to martz I am still not sure it is going to work out. They are just something like a burn and churn operation!!!!
Secondly I just am still in morning over the end of Art and I's relationship I realized that it had become toxic. Him always telling me what I should do and to go with direction in stead of just supporting my direction.
And I really have been in a funk today cuz yesterday I worked 15 and a 1/2 Hours for tip top. Not on the agreed apon 9 hours!! Then when it became clear I can not work 2, 15 hour days and told them i would not be able to do it today. They had the nerve to say if you do not work today we will not pay you for yesterday. Now all day i am going through a haze still tired from yesterday and Damn glad I did not Attended the event today. (Would like to have seen Alex again though)
I really miss Jason today It has been 5 months scents his sudden passing. But the pain still lingers. The questions still remain, And the person I feel is ultimately responsible for his death mother coldness is still alive. And free. But In a bit of irony she has not seen here "supposed" grandkids sends the time of his passing. Well i wish nothing but eternal damn nation on that evil woman.
People that I would have never suspected having difficulty with his passing have. Shawn and Gary both still beside them selves. These are tuff kids with really rough backgrounds. That have seen people around them die. He touched them in such a way that he stands out.
Another thing I have been focusing my time is the up coming wedding (s). we are having a ceremony here and going in front justice of the peace in Washington DC.
Brian makes me literally pinch my self at least once a day. he takes the time to know all (I MEAN ALL) of my likes and dislikes. he never offends and never wounds, Never says spitfull words. He also very much of a mind reader. he knows what will make me happy, sad, mad, smile, dream, love, touch, (even sneeze)
HE KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME SMILE, LAUGH AND HAVE FUN ON EVEN MY WORST DAY. He seems as if he has nothing to prove nothing, He takes on the world and me makes it his own, With his love I finally feel it back. It is as if everything i have every put out in to the universe I have gotten back every day for 7 months.
The money issue (the 800 lbs gorilla in any relationship) Is not a problem at all he gives equally and that is such a change from the past were I have either been the bread winner or the feeling like a leach.
I am ready to go when it is my time but I do not want it to be for 90 years so i can soak up every minute. welcome to sky part 3
love always,
sky tripp-shaefer
