there comes a time when we look at the past and ask our selves where has it gone.
A very dear friend turned 30 today. Wow i new him when he was 21. 9 years of of pain and love and life lived. getting up and going to a peace of shit job having a lover that lied and having bled for the right to say he was gay. the road is a long one and more then a few times friends around (me included) thought we would never see this day. No longer the student now the teacher u look back on the past and see your transgressions (as art likes to say).
In an information age where ever things moves at blazing speed i find it very hard to stop and smell the roses!! Time to be alone is not possable with cell phones and gps tracking. with made to order camera that fit on your finger tip. when the government see to it more important to spy on gay citizens then tracking ones that can kill there kids. And lay wait to a world of broken dreams.
It is said u can not buy happiness. No i suppose not but making good money does make me happy, and the ones are happy around me happy too. The reason we are not happy because we are forced to make scarifies between a house and car, there by requiring sycophantic drugs giving us a faults sens of drug induced happiness.
Change is good. but when to much change happens it can destroy ones house of cards. Been more then a year that i been in this neither world and yet i am just realizing how much the words do to me "eye of the storm", "hurricane forcast". When the wind picks up remembering the fear of getting blown away. let my car go just could not see it and not thinking of the day that my house of cards fell and my life started over.
He snores, he is a game show nut, he loves so deep, He is complete selfless and he has a twinkle that will lite up the entire room. His smile is infectious. His laugh comes from deep with in beneath the pain of a loneliness. he is mine, he is his own again. But god what a high price i have paid and god how much he lost out on. Life begins and love is enduring during the counting days towards the merging of 2 lives.
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